So a few weeks ago, I built up the courage to ask a girl out who works a few shops down from me in a mall/centre. She's the shy type (some overestimate themselves, she underestimates herself), incredibly attractive without the need to try to be and a few years older than me (the age is more attractive than the other two...I think). She has a habit of blowing the hair out of her eyes and thinking that no one notices, which I notice and adore.
But in short, she let me down nicely (she had plans, awww) and I like to think we could be good friends at least. I don't talk to her much, mainly because I'm incredibly shy around girls I may have feelings for.
Anyways, as I was shopping at the local supermarket kilometres and kilometres away from work (yes, I drive a lot) after a long day at work, who do I see but HER walk past me in that supermarket. Now she didn't see me cos' she was looking at the shelves, and I .....stupidly didn't say hi. Once the amazement that she was actually at the supermarket that I live down the road from and the whole 'omg that's her' dealio cooled down, I realised how stupid I was for not initiating conversation. It seems my whole life is based on 'should I shouldn't I' moments. And not being able to approach her and just saying 'hi!' just makes it worse. The mere fact of discovering that she lived in the same area that I do should've made it that much more easier.
Arghhh, and then I couldn't find her. I lost her between the veggie and dairy section. Damn veggies. Why why why Crispy. I could've been 'that guy who's confident enough to talk to me and throw me a smile even though I rejected him', but I'm just 'that guy who tried to ask me out weeks ago'.
I don't want to blow smoke up my butt (is that in the right context?) but I am fantastic when talking to girls, girls that I know I don't have a hell's chance of being with in a relationship. Some of my best friends are some of my best mate's girlfriends who I can chat to for ages about....crap (the basis of any good conversation). I don't lack self confidence, I've talked in front of hundreds of people at youth conferences, my part time job entails me to be vibrant and energetic to customers, I push around and give lip to blokes twice my age (and my weight) in football, I make and produce music for crying out loud. But when I meet someone I'm interested in, suddenly I have Social Anxiety Disorder and I'm reduced to a small, scared child. Which makes me come across as a complete weirdo. Gah!..women...
Yes I know, life is short and moments like these are but small, small, small, insignificant events. And that I should take life by the reigns and own it blah blah. You don't need to tell me.
...Oh snap, I forgot to buy Lipton tea, what else could go wrong!?
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